Guess the question speaks for itself.

To me, it don't matter.

I mean, if you really loved the person you're about to marry, would it change anything if you found out that person wasn't a virgin? would you love them any less?

though you may be jealous of the fact that you're not the first person to have physically loved them, perhaps you should concentrate on being the last lover they'll ever need.

But that's my opinion.

Well the answers to this question varies, as an individual is influenced by his environment.

The virginity of a woman lies on two body parts: her vagina and anus. Male also have virginity in their anus (you thought male didn't lose virginity, ne?)

For me, a virginity of a woman is her treasure that she is still pure and unadulterated from filth of the flesh. That treasure should be given to the person she truly loves and be together forever at the RIGHT PLACE, TIME, and CIRCUMSTANCES. Of course, the standards on how she will know if it's the right time is based on her attained knowledge from her studies and scripture preaching.

There are some instances that a woman lose her virginity without having contact with a male genitalia. Masturbation of course is an example of it. If your girlfriend confessed it to you, then I think you should not hate her because she just "done it" by herself to restrain her libido to other males.

As a standard, I believe that virginity should be given to your true love after your marriage. But sometimes exemption happens, that is, on the discretion of the couple if they really love each other.

Pretty serious explanation, isn't it? :p

Does anybody still aspect their pardners to be virgins in this day and age? I don't.

The first time is always poor. Get it out of the way and get practicing.

Seriously though. Marriage is getting more and more anacronistic. I know plenty of people who have or will get married purely on the social convention and not at all because of the religious belief.

Apart from that I also don't buy into the whole 'making love' deal. Sex is sex. Even if you think you 'love' whoever it is with it's still sex. Making love is a male excuse to try and get women into bed.

As for masturbation, everyone should do it. Studies have shown it actually reduces the risk of heart disease and many stress related disorders. Spank your way to better health. It's the future, I've seen it.

im 20 and i aint had a girl friend over 6 months my chances of geting married are slim :p. but i believe everyone wants to get married if they love the person they are with.

and god whois gonna hold out shagging a nice bird till they get married... if they can hold out id question them.

I do, for me its a sign of...uhh...love and commitment to yer pardner. But if ever that it's not the option, it doesn't matter as long as you love each other.

The question still lingers in my mind though. Is it okay if you two are going to be married anyway? Well, anyway I think I'll find the answer to that when the time comes (if it ever comes :sweatface:).

...ok, resume topic :tongue:

Not really, but the question was do you think it's still important to save yourself till marriage.

TRP:
For a guy like me. No Hell I'd make love to her as long as we love each other, and as long as it's alright for her.

me, I believe in delayed gratification and that drawing it out over time makes it better when I finally get it. but if hormones can't be controlled... oh well. :D

I just believe with all the child support things and how unhappy it seems to make people you should just wait til marriage

I don't think it matters whether you're married or not as long as you are responsible enough to take the consequences of your actions.

But...I kept my virginity until I was married. ^^;;;; Dunno. Maybe there's still this prude living inside me.

Assuming you never cheat nor divorce, you'll never know that your spouse is terrible in bed since you can't compare to experience. LOL :laugh:

On topic, I don't care. Look at other creatures on the planet. They don't care. Why make a big deal out of it? We even have a ton of ways to prevent pregnancy; other creatures don't and still don't care IMO. The only questionable part is doing it illegally, i.e. under 18. Even then I don't care. It's kinda hard to be busted for that one anyway. Heh. If you wanna wait, wait. If you don't, then don't. The only thing I object to is if one party is not willing. Otherwise I don't see anything immoral about it (even prostitution is moral if you ask me). :rolleyes:

I find it kind of funny whenever someone uses arguments similar to this. people are supposed to be better than animals (or any other organism on the planet. at least, that's what we want to believe) and then someone says, "well, animals do it. why can't we?"

so, why can't we? because we're not animals.

just my two [insert currency here]. :peace:

Well, I've been married for a year and I'm not complaining. :p

The farthest I've ever gone when I was single was make out. I can still tell the difference between clumsy and gentle. (Gak! And I just realized that most of the kisses I've had were with...females. Nyahahahaha!)

Has anyone admitted to being Virgin still?
I for one is Still a virgin and I don't there's anything wrong, because I am saving myself for that special someone. I wont mind being with that person before marriage anyway, and I don't think I will regret it.


I used to think that because I am virgin, my partner has to be a virgin too. But after comong so close a while ago, I actually forgot that the person had did it before. Love makes you forget.....

I agree with what you said initially, I wasn't 100% serious, but we *are* animals and if you don't believe me take any cell of yours (the old toothpick against the inner cheek trick works well) and look at it under a microscope. We just have really high intelligence and every other factor completely sucks. Seems a bit unfair! :angry: :laugh:

some philosophers would probly take offense to that statement. but since I'm not one... :sweatface:

true, humans are a subset of the animal kingdom and therefore, in the most literal sense, humans are indeed animals. usually, however, the context of calling someone an animal is a lack of sentience or any other factor that sets apart a person from the rest of them. that's what I meant by my statement.

(lordy, that was verbose :sweatface: )

Oops.. :laugh:

I defined the literal meaning of being animals. I forgot about the figurative usage people use with that word.. whatever!! :laugh:

Well I've never had a girl friend, or even got close to being the best friend to one.

I'm still a virgin, searchin for someone. I'll find her someday. And if I make a mistake, well... I'll just have to search harder.

Me and I'm proud of it. I'm still pure yeah. I haven't tried *that* :peace: to myself......no really....:sweatface:

...anyways,

Check the "How many partners have you had" thread and find that there are a lot of virgin peepz around here.

Almost scored one in the past though....*dang* :buck:

*Pes shoots!!!
......................and its just rims out!!!* :laugh:

Having sex outside of marriage brings all sorts of problems...STDs, social problems, unwanted pregnancies, etc... I think it's best to wait until after marriage.

The animal comparison was a bit strange...animals have intercourse to propagate their speicies, not like most of us humans who do it for pleasure.

I've heard it argued at times that those who don't partake in "a lechers activities" are more of a moral person who thinks more of society than those who commit wonton acts of selfish pleasure, and in turn contribute to the degeneratism of the social order.

Well...I don't how true that is...but it's what I've heard...

I believe it is important if two people are going to get married, should at least have sex (if making love doesn't exist), once. Why?

Guys, would you marry someone who is frigid and cold in bed? Someone who is so tight you can't even get in to break her?

Girls, would you marry someone who is rough in bed? Who doesn't care about your feelings as long as he gets off?

People feel trapped in marriages when they discover horrible truths like this. That's when they cheat. Now, its all a matter of personal preference, but i believe that you should at least be intimate on that deep level, so if you do have problems you could talk it out.

it may not improve, but at least you know what you're getting into.

It's just like looking at your beau naked. Do you wait until the wedding night to see what they look like naked? aren't you even curious as to how they look sans clothes?

Call me a fool, but I actually do see a difference between sex and making love. Sex is when you want to get off. Making Love is when you want the other person to get off. Guys, I hope when some of you get more experience with girls, you will find that one girl whom (for the first few months at least) you would want to pleasure endlessly, instead of caring for your own need first.

You may argue that it's impossible for guys to get enjoyment just from watching a girl orgasm. Man, you've seen nothing yet.

TRP

Relationship problems always start in bed. I mean, women can put up with a lot of crap (and so can guys) from their spouses, because those of us in bad relationships rationalise by saying, "at least sex is good".

Good Sex can help heal a lot of problems, but it can also hide a lot of problems. But Bad Sex will harm all the time. IF you don't know any better, then good for you. Maybe then you should seriously consider staying virgins... BOTH OF YOU. But if one of you has more experience, maybe you want to start... uh, well, training?

I'm not saying that you should be promiscuous with other lovers. I'm saying that if anything else, two people who are deeply in love with each other who are engaged perhaps, should do it at least once WITH EACH OTHER.

Marriage after all is just a social convention. Marriage is a legal contract of love. And we all know how many people just have that contract yet don't have the product.

Elfboy, it seems as though you're giving examples of people who are only married to have sex. Don't misunderstand that this is what marriage is for. If sex is the reason for breaking out of a marriage, I would suggest that person find work in a brothel then :laugh:

Marriage has been broken down today to be practically nothing, but far back in the day, your ancestors were married under God to raise in their proper care an exemplary child into a proper man or woman.

In all honesty, and contrary to what you seem to believe is unthinkable, if I found a woman I loved that never wanted to have sex, I would still marry her and be faithful....but thats just me, someone who, perhaps, is clung to old morals that are laughed at today :\

Then you are a stronger person than I am. And I admire your candor, will and fortitude in that manner.

I think what I find unfathomnable is being in a relationship without passion. I'm no saint, and I don't think I can start living like one, so I hope that I will meet a woman who will be happy and make me happy despite all my flaws.

If I met a woman like that, I couldn' tcare less if she was a virgin or not. Because I would be happy just to be with her.

That is absolute nonsense. Lack of contraception causes proliferation of STD's, social problems are caused by society (mainly education but the permutations are endless) and again, unwanted pregnancies are caused by lack of contraception.

Sex ouside of marriage isn't the cause of these problems it is a symptom. If people were better educated and more equiped to deal with their natural urges then the problems would have a much greater chance of being dealt with.

I also have to reiterate that marriage is a convention. Your argument would have a little more merit if it made some point about overly promiscuous sex, though again, this is a valid lifestyle choice.

If you refer to societies ever increasing want to satiate their hunger for sex, then yes society is the creation of the social problems.

As for the contraception, how many people must be using such things when STDs are on the rise world wide?

It all sounds like a programmed way of thinking, if the news says its alright and this is the way to do it, then it must be true, because the news never lies. :rolleyes:

If people were better educated they would be smarter, which in turn would lead to a higher standard of common sense, through which people would come to realize that sex and greed are the two biggest evils in society, and the world would be a happy place.

Marriage is a convention today, and the only reason it exists is for the religious that believe they are working towards the path of saving their soul through the teachings of their religion. Other than that is is nothing but a formality, used for probably nothing more than greed...the mentality of "oh I get a ring and a huge wedding where people bring gifts for me, and I'm at the center of the world for a short time"

you have to consider that with divorce at it's highest rate that nearly every woman above the age of 30 won't be a virgin due to a bad marriage. Should she be condemmed because of unforseen circumstances? I believe that if you can't love someone because they lack virginity then you're simply cheating yourself of a potentially great relationship.
Virginity is highly overrated in this day and age and shouldn't be focused on I.M.O. If someone can't focus on the future and let the past die then maybe they shouldn't bother with relationships at all. Because if they can't let the past go then how can that person be forgiving of any other aspects of life? Plain and simple, people make mistakes. Learn from it and move on.

Yes, take it from me. I didn't find out I actually had sexual problems until after the marriage...which couldn't be consummated because of said problem.

Now I vow to marry only the guy who gets to deflower me. Nyahahahahahaha!

I personally think sex before marriage is fine, but I would prefer to save my virginity for A: my love, and B: I am very certain that we will be fine. I think the idea of marriage is moot; any ceremony that's appropriate would be fine. But... I feel a sort of ceremony which I don't wish to discard, and neither does she.

I understand exactly what you mean, Elfboy, although I must confess I disagree. I feel that for one thing, there are plenty of things besides intercourse which are erotic, and can help ease things... And, I, for one, would not mind waiting to consumate marriage(Or kiddushin, or what have you), especially if we helped each other become mroe accustomed to things over time... But, as I've said, I'm fairly certain we won't have to wait, hehehe!

The one thing I would highly recommend is having three people you can trust with this information. A mentor of one's faith(This can be yourself, if you are an atheist or believe in the power of the will, although it helps to have a confidante.), a mentor of one's family(Not to neccesarily talk to about sexually related things if you have a family who is not comfortable with that; but certainly to help provide for planning and sending invitations, among other things... It's hard to do it all by yourself.), and a mentor with a solid background in medicine(To give you regular good check-ups, monitor any conditions you might have, and keep you in top form!)! That's my thought on the matter, anyway.

I agree with Elfboy here. I believe that when you marry someone, you should expect to be with them for the rest of your life. And unless you are the rare type of individual that would happily accept never being sexually satisfied for the rest of your life, you should test drive the car before you buy it. Okay, cheesy analogy but if there is a chance that physical intimacy matters to you at all, you should make sure that you and your love are compatible in that aspect as well as all others that are important to you.

I would like to say that if sex isn't that important to you, then sure go ahead and wait until you are married first. But to me, it sounds like an interesting paradox - if sex isn't important to you, why would you care if you and/or your love are virgins if you are married? And if sex is important enough to you desire to save it only for the one you are going to marry, why wouldn't you want to make sure that you two are compatible in this important aspect?

Those are rhetorical questions though, really - I think I understand the perspective, I just have a hard time relating to it.

I think the tight watch on virginity's just a check for a possible "moral regression" into promiscuity/infidelity anyways; intended to "nip it in the bud", I guess.

I honestly never saw what was so great about being chaste. It's not as if being a virgin's a sure sign that one undoubtedly is, in any degree or aspect, a better person as compared to a non-virgin.

I've realized just now, that the notion of virginity as this lofty oh-so-respectable ideal is nothing more than an over-perpetuated "halo effect" that's just made more superficial each time its advocates try to reinforce it.

I mean, of course, morals ought to stay. Just keep in mind that there are other means of keeping it intact and in check, and that no one has the right to deem other people immoral when the latter has failed in meeting but a few of society's arguably untimely expectations.

Losing your virginity never means you're hopelessly, outright immoral.

I dont think that u should lose your viriginty until u are married.If u and your partner love each other than do it.But u most be responsible

Well, I guess it depends. It's really a question of whether or not the person really wishes to or not. I think a little intimacy between couples is healthy though, as it goes along with building a good solid relationship.

I think if both people love each other it shouldn't matter. Its a good idea to wait till marriage because if your both virgins then you shouldn't have anything to worry about. If EVERYONE followed that way i mean. Since some people like to wait and some don't, you just have to have understanding of each other, and follow accordingly.

That's a hard question and it really comes down to each individual couple and situation. Regardless use protection and contraception and I'll still love you. :smile:

Will you love me forever, and ever? :)

One thing I didnt see touched upon in this thread was the fact that some view their continuing virginity as an oath to a diety(a form of ultimate worship), or a way to intentionally be "different" in a world that chokes individualism.

Not all virgins maintain it as, "a halo effect " they have heartfelt reasons important to them. Though there are the holier than thou types too who use it as a badge of superiority ... still it can't be associated easily with just one answer that works out to absolute law, with possible exception to the uttering of the word "choice".

Factoid about Algolagnia: If(IF) I married someone, I wouldn't mind them wanting to wait because the payoff in the end would be worth it. You have someone totally unfamilar with sexuality(it'd be cute to teach them what you like and practice), and wouldn't have anything to compare the act to from their past so you would be " the best they ever had ".

I think virginity is overated, and fidelity is underrated.

So what if you pop your wife's cherry? You may be the first - but are you the only one?

I'm going to have to concur with Nyarlathotep's sensible reasoning there. Usually, in my point of view, in general, people who don't save their virginity until marrage but are faithful and committed their partner at the same exact time...then I see it as it is fit. That's justificable.

However, for me I think it's vital for me to stay as a virgin before marrying someone I really admire. I think it shows how loyal you are to "saving yourself" for a special person. But, if there is such a case in which you are not married yet and are NOT just a pure virigin, it could be a big effect in case of some deeply religious families. In some families, it is indeed deemed a sin for you to have not been a virgin before you marry. In some cases, no one would want to marry the woman because she has tainted herself with "impurities".

But by no means do I wish to stay a virgin just because of religious purposes. I think it goes for more of a spiritual meaning. Just wanting to save yourself for a special person so the bond can even be more of a special experience is a good thing.

I'm lucky I found a rare breed of a guy. Guys give out their keys like nothing and its nice to acturally find one who is a blue diamond like myself. I lost my virginity with another virgin. My bf never had a gf in his life so I'm basically his first on all levels, even on the first kiss aspect. I'm honored.



I don't believe in marriage (marriage is a trap for women to be slaves of the family), but I also don't believe in f*cking every guy that is willing to go into bed with me. Got to make a full record check up and let him see mine as well. Its better save than sorry. If I'm not willing to buy a car without first checking its history out than I'm going to be extra picky with whom goes into bed with me. I don't want any surprises.


As for sex outside of marriage being bad...Not true. Unplaned / unresearched sex causes unwanted pregnancy, STDs and a sh*t load of other problems.



BTW that movie 40 year old virgin is bull s*t! Men are the biggest whores in the world. There is no possible way that a real life guy could be a virgin for that long. Men have no control of themselves. It would make more sense if the 40 year old virgin was a woman.

20/m/virgin

omg! that's insane!


i really don't care to have sex. i have my reasons and they may be individualistic. they may even be holier then thou. however, my reasons are my own and the governing reason is i just don't care. i can't predict the future but, as far as i am concerned i will die a virgin. if you don't like it that's your problem.

19/male/virgin

If two people love eachother then I don't see why it should be an issue of morality. Love is love, when you feel it you'll know it and if it's so strong that you want to become one with your partner, go for it! (Be sure it's what you both want) I hope to find love like that some day. ^_^

I fail to see the point of following this archaic moral.

Some people think im insane so ignore this if you want

but as far as I can see I hate morals and love. I'm 17 and i have no interest in getting married or having sex or even having any compasion for any living thing.
To give a point to this post i'll say one thing... I don't care for morality or love in my opinion it all depends on if they think they are ready or not, If you are then go ahead, if not then suite yourself.

Well this is irelevent but...
Juci that was one of the worst comments ive ever heard



If you truly think that way then you are nothing more than socities puppet you can't think for youself, get out and make your own observation
If you truly hate men that much do something about it.
(suggestion: take advantage of the "Urge for Sex" and kill them when you get somewhere private)
Does'nt matter to me I believe human kind is the disease of the earth anyways...

as long as its love, not lust, its cool

I think this is for a person's upbringing and preference... I mean if you've grown in a quite restrictive society then yes, you would think of being a virign until marriage, but then what?

To me being a virgin is something to be held on until you find a person you can go with for the rest of your life. You don't have to be clueless mentally though.

Virginity is something that is only once and if it is gone.. you can't gain back that status...

While i'm sure you had a deeper meaning in mind, I'm afraid you are slightly wrong. There are surgeries and procedures for women that can repair and restore a damaged "maiden head, cherry, freshness seal hymen etc" so psychicaly you can regain the treasured revered and sought after virginity.

Tho it is in my opinion that it dosn't really matter whether you've kept a piece of flesh pop free waiting for your possible one and only, but what you are giveing them emotionaly and spirtiualy.

A man or woman can have had intercourse a hundred times over and still be a virgin the day he or she finaly gives himself over to the one they love.

People might disagree with me on this, but what you [EvilPants] say is what I agree in my opinion.. however for a girl I believe there's always a fear of whether or not it's going to hurt or the fact that a person can be self-concious for showing their naked body for their partner to watch.

From my viewpoint on virginity..it's a pretty archaic one..that was instilled a long time ago by culture and tradtions... funny though.. because mentally I don't consider myself a virigin.. from the amount of hentai I watch and the topic discussions I have. It's still nice to have a tangible proof that there's still one last bit of 'innocence' left in you.

Just wanted to comment that being a virgin does not necessarily equal innocence. I've encountered young ladies who considers themselves virgins since they've never had vaginal intercourse, but have blown more than 20 guys and some even had anal. I'm no where near a virgin but I personally feel a bit more "innocent" than a virgin who blows more than a flute-tester.

Also, those are interesting reasons you listed there for why a girl may be afraid of sex. I had 3 fears regarding sex that kept me a virgin for a long time, and those same 3 fears continued to keep me picky about who I slept with even after I'd lost my virginity:
1 - Fear of not being cared for (I didn't ever want to be just used)
2 - Fear of getting pregnant
3 - Fear of losing respect (from my point of view, a girl who is "too easy" has a hard time finding and keeping real love)

Three words. Virginity. Is. Overrated.

Thanks for the quip, Bishoujo Ichi!



True.. but what happens if you can't find the right guy yet?